A Little Help from Your Friends: Finding the Support System that Works for You

Do you fit this profile?

You’ve been away from the classroom for a long time, perhaps as long as five or ten years since high school. You have responsibilities at home: maybe you’re a single parent; maybe married, with or without children; or maybe a committed partner in a relationship. Perhaps you care for an elderly or ill member of your family. You probably hold a part-time or even a full-time job and go to school before or after work or on weekends. You might be fortunate enough to be on campus during the day as a full-time student, although it’s a role you hardly feel ready for full time. If you fit all or part of this profile, your key to success is finding the support you need to get through what can be an intimidating experience.  Find this support at school, at your job, at home, and in your field of study.

At School

Make a point to meet other adults in your classes. Chat briefly before or after class, or better still, work together on a collaborative project or doing peer reviews of your papers. Talk to others who have gone back to school, and learn about their backgrounds---like you, they may have dropped out to follow a spouse or partner to another city or they may have served in the military. Don’t forget to exchange phone numbers or e-mails, to make it easy to communicate when off-campus

Having a study buddy in a similar situation or age group decreases stress and increases course success. If you have the time, join a club, such as a lunch group for adult students or one for students in your major. Discussing common problems, even complaining sometimes, is a good thing; it’s easier to talk to students who are also going through the same introductory courses for your major. You might even consider volunteering to tutor other students or to start a study group yourself. If you are doing distance learning or a telecourse, use the discussion group or chat room online to talk about your experiences and get help from others.

Don’t overlook talking with your professors. Their job is to help you understand the material and to succeed in the course, but they can’t do their job if they don’t know you. An after-class chat for just a few minutes identifies your individual personality and needs. 

There are more formal ways to get on-campus support. Most schools have Student Support offices, suitable for all students; some schools also have EOC (Education Opportunity Center) or Veterans Affairs offices, geared for your needs. Most colleges provide on-campus counseling and advising, sometimes specifically for adult students. There may be a Student Learning Center, which offers special courses such in topics such as study skills, test-taking, or reading. Supplemental Instruction, which involves student-led learning groups, is sometimes an ancillary program that is related to specific courses. Maybe you need affordable housing or day care. Some schools provide apartments for adult students. Many colleges and universities provide excellent childcare facilities in a laboratory setting, or can refer you to reputable businesses in your community.  

On the Job

Support from your boss or co-workers can be a critical factor. Let them know why you find school valuable and how it might help you be a better employee. Make your academic schedule known as early as possible to avoid work-related conflicts. If you show up regularly and continue to do your work, usually both supervisors and co-workers will lend support. If someone else in your age group or life situation has gone back to school, you will benefit from talking together.

At Home

Don’t forget about the support you can gain at home. Some adult students have graduated from college along with their own children. Study with your children; let them see what it takes to be a successful student. Ask them questions related to your studies. They will feel empowered and may surprise you with their answers. Tell other family members your goals and what it will take to reach them. Factor in time for family activities in your schedule so that no one feels shortchanged but everyone recognizes your need for help. Let them know that they are a vital part of your plan to achieve your goal.

In Your Field of Study

Finally, take advantage of student rates at conferences. Go meet some professionals in your field and learn what it means to be one. You might develop valuable networking resources while supporting your motivation.

Like anything else, you will find support, if you seek it out and accept it when it’s offered. 

—by Dee Seligman