Sentence Snarls: Shifts

Sentence Snarls: Shifts

Avoid shifts from statements to commands.

	Faulty	The students in this university should do more to keep the place clean. Pick up the litter and treat the dorms like home.
	Revised	The students in this university should do more to keep the place clean. They should pick up the litter and treat the dorms like home.

Avoid shifts from indirect to direct quotations.

A sentence that begins with an indirect quotation should continue in that way. It should not switch to a direct quotation, either with or without quotation marks.

	Faulty	The client told us that he wanted to sign the lease and would we prepare the papers.
	Revised	The client told us that he wanted to sign the lease and asked us to prepare the papers.
	Faulty	She wanted to find out whether any interest had accumulated on her account and was she receiving any money.
	Revised	She wanted to find out whether any interest had accumulated on her account and whether she was receiving any money.

Avoid shifts in point of view.

Be consistent in using first, second, or third person pronouns; for example, if you begin by referring to one, do not switch to you or we. Also avoid shifting unnecessarily between third person singular and plural forms.

	Faulty	One needs a high salary to live in a city because you have to spend so much on rent and transportation.
	Revised	One needs a high salary to live in a city because one has to spend so much on rent and transportation. People need a high salary to live in a city because they have to spend so much on rent and transportation. A high salary is necessary in a city because rent and transportation cost so much.