Process Paragraph: Buying a Car
The following paragraph needs revision, proofreading, and editing work. Read the paragraph carefully. Answer the questions that follow the paragraph by writing your responses in the text boxes. After you finish the exercise, click on Email to email your work to your instructor, or click on Print to print a copy of your work.

Buying a New Car
Buying a new car takes thoughtful planning and a bunch of steps. First, you must decide whether you want to buy a new car or a used car. You must also figure out your budget and know how much you want to spend. You need to do some other financial planning, too. Decide whether you want to finance the car or do you want to pay cash for it? If you decide to buy a used car, check the Blue Book values on used cars; that might meet your needs. If you know this, you can decide whether a used car price at the dealership is reasonable. If you are going to buy a new car do some consumer research on it first. Many consumer magazines, and the Internet will rank new cars for you in terms of price, safety, and value. Road tests for both used and new cars are important. Find out how the car handles on the freeway, the city streets, and on curves. Check how well you can see the road from the different windows. Find out how large the blind spot is on the driver's side. Check the brakes. Turn the radio off for part of your test drive so you can hear any unusual sounds or squeaks inside the car, from the engine or in the vicinity of the wheels. Pay attention to the miles per gallon the car gets. Sometimes when you want a new car, you have to order it and wait. Decide how long you can wait for a new car; if you can't wait long, then maybe you should limit your selection to what's on the lot. Sometimes people need the car right then because their old car doesn't run any more. The next step is to check out different dealerships that sell the make and model that you want. Sometimes their prices and their trade-in deals are better. You can also ask your family members and friends about the car you are considering. Sometimes they have valuable opinions and know personally about the car, its strengths, and the problems other people have had with it. Many times people buy used and are not particular about the car. They just want to find something that runs well and is a good value. If you are buying a used car without a strong preference for the make or model, don't get carried away by the looks alone. Most dealerships will let you take the car off the lot and have an independent garage run a computer analysis on the car to tell its real condition and work that is required. Paying for a this analysis is well-worth it when you found a used car you think you really want. One final step is to think ahead to the best time of year to buy. The price of many new cars drops in the fall when they start announcing the new models for the upcoming year. There's nothing wrong with the car, but dealerships want to clear out the inventory to make room for new models. These steps can help you select the right car that provide you with many years of reliable transportation.

1. Revise the following topic sentence by replacing informal language with formal language. Buying a car takes thoughtful planning and a bunch of steps.




2. The first step of the process lacks a clear focus and lacks unity. It contains too many different kinds of details, and it does not support the topic sentence. Explain the kinds of revisions the writer should make for this first step of buying a new car.

First, you must decide whether you want to buy a new car or a used car. You must also figure out your budget and know how much you want to spend. You need to do some other financial planning, too. Decide whether you want to finance the car or do you want to pay cash for it? If you decide to buy a used car, check the Blue Book values on used cars; that might meet your needs. If you know this, you can decide whether a used car price at the dealership is reasonable. If you are going to buy a new car do some consumer research on it first. Many consumer magazines, and the Internet will rank new cars for you in terms of price, safety, and value.




3. Write an effective sentence that introduces the first step of the process of buying a new car.




4. Revise the following sentence so the ideas flow together more smoothly. Write your revision in the text box. Decide if you want to finance the car or do you want to pay cash for it?




5. Like step one, step two lacks unity and needs revision work. Read about step two.

(1) Road tests for both used and new cars are important. (2) Find out how the car handles on the freeway, the city streets, and on curves. (3) Check how well you can see the road from the different windows. (4) Find out how large the blind spot is on the driver's side. (5) Check the brakes. (6) Turn the radio off for part of your test drive so you can hear any unusual sounds or squeaks inside the car, from the engine or in the vicinity of the wheels. (7) Pay attention to the miles per gallon the car gets. (8) Sometimes when you want a new car, you have to order it and wait. (9) Decide how long you can wait for a new car; if you can't wait long, then maybe you should limit your selection to what's on the lot. (10) Sometimes people need the car right then because their old car doesn't run any more.

6. In the text box, write a more effective sentence to introduce step two. Then, indicate the numbers of the sentences that you would delete in order to achieve unity and coherence in the paragraph.




7. The following sentences are a part of step three. What kind of revisions would you make for step three? Explain your answer.
The next step is to check out different dealerships that sell the make and model that you want. Sometimes their prices and their trade-in deals are better.




8. The following sentences are a part of step four. What kind of revisions would you make for step four? Explain your answer.

(1) You can also ask your family members and friends about the car you are considering. (2) Sometimes they have valuable opinions and know personally about the car, its strengths, and the problems other people have had with it. (3) Many times people buy used and are not particular about the car. (4) They just want to find something that runs well and is a good value. (5) If you are buying a used car without a strong preference for the make or model, don't get carried away by the looks alone. (6) Most dealerships will let you take the car off the lot and have an independent garage run a computer analysis on the car to tell its real condition and work that is required. (7) Paying for a this analysis is well-worth it when you found a used car you think you really want.




9. What revisions would you suggest for the final step that includes the following sentences?
One final step is to think ahead to the best time of year to buy. The price of many new cars drops in the fall when they start announcing the new models for the upcoming year. There's nothing wrong with the car, but dealerships want to clear out the inventory to make room for new models.




10. Is the concluding sentence effective? Explain your answer.
These steps can help you select the right car that provide you with many years of reliable transportation.