Here's a humorous collection of sentences that were found on real cover letters. (Various human resource departments submitted the letters.)

• I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
• Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
• Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
• It's best for employers that I not work with people.
• Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience.
• You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
• Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
• I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
• I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
• I am loyal to my employer at all costs. . . . Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
• I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
• My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
• I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
• Instrumental in ruining an entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
• Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 A.M. every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
• The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

Source: From Susan D. Greene and Melanie C.L. Martel, The Ultimate Job Hunter's Guidebook, Fourth Edition, Boston: HMCo. 2004. P. 112.