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Becoming A Master Student, Concise, Tenth Edition
Dave Ellis
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| | Conflict Management
In A Nutshell | | | | | | | |
Conflict can lead to anger, hostility, and further conflicts. Or it can be used as a powerful opportunity for solving problems. For example, you can handle conflict by denying the problem exists, smoothing it over, or trying to overpower the other person. These lead to win/lose situations. When you resolve conflict through collaboration and compromise, you can achieve win/win solutions.
Here are seven steps to transform a conflict into a solution in which both parties win.
1. State the problem. Using "I" messages, explain the problem. Allow the other person to do the same. You may have different problems. This is the time to clearly define the conflict. It's hard to fix something before everyone agrees on what's broken.
2. Understand all points of view. If you want to defuse tension or defensiveness, set aside your opinions for a moment. Take the time to understand the other points of view. Sum up those points of view in words that the other parties can accept. When people feel they've been heard, they're often more willing to listen.
3. Brainstorm solutions. Dream up as many solutions as you can. Be outrageous. Don't evaluate them. Quantity, not quality, is the key. If you get stuck, restate the problem and continue brainstorming.
4. Evaluate the solutions. Discard the unacceptable ones. This step will require time and honesty. Talk about which solutions will work and how difficult they will be to implement. You may hit upon a totally new solution.
5. Choose the solution. Choose the one most acceptable to all. Be honest.
6. Implement. Decide who is going to do what by when. Then keep your agreements.
7. Re-evaluate. Review the effectiveness of your solution. If it works, pat yourselves on the back. If not, be open to making changes or implementing a new solution.
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